Nghệ Thuật Sống

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Vì DĐ không có sub-forum thích hợp, nên mạo muội đăng bài này ở đây, cũng mong các bạn tham khảo để áp dụng vào đời sống thực tiễn hằng ngày của mình. Chỉ là một sự đóng góp và tham khảo mà thôi!

Còn phần chuyển dịch, YDI đang liên lạc xin phép tác giả, khi được đồng ý, YDI sẽ cố gắng thực hiện, và mời anh em đóng góp trong phần dịch thuật. Thân mến.

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DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF...

and it's all small stuff
(RICHARD CARLSON. PH.D.)

SIMPLE WAYS TO KEEP THE LITTLE THINGS FROM TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE

1.DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.

Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren't really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion. A stranger, for example, might cut in front of us in traffic. Rather than let it go, and go on with our day, we convince ourselves that we are justified in our anger. We play out an imaginary confrontation in our mind. Many of us might even tell someone else about the incident later on rather than simply let it go.

Why not instead simply allow the driver to have his accident somewhere else Try to have compassion for the person and remember how painful it is to be in such an enormous hurry. This way, we can maintain our own sense of well-being and avoid taking other people's problem personally

There are many similar, "small stuff" example that occur every day in our lives. Whether we have to wait in line, listen unfair criticism, or do the lion's share of the work, it pays enormous dividends if we learn not worry about little things. So many people spend so much of their life energy "sweating the small stuff" that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life. When you commit to working toward this goal you will find that you will have far more energy to be kinder and gentler.

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Cảm ơn YDI đã gợi ý cho một Chuyên Mục mới, NGV không biết nên đặt tên là gì, xin các bạn giúp ý.
Khoảng hơn mười năm trước, NGV được cho đi tu nghiệp khóa management skills, lúc đang giảng thì ông giảng viên đem ra một cái lọ thủy tinh nhỏ và nhiều viên đá đủ cở. Viên đá lớn nhất chỉ vừa lọt vào cái miệng lọ thủy tinh, ông ta bảo mọi người thử bỏ hết tất cả các viên đá đó vào cái lọ ông cho. Mọi người lần lượt thay phiên nhau bỏ mấy viên đá vào nhưng không ai có thể bỏ hết tất cả vào cái lọ đó. Ông giảng viên sau khi để cho mọi người thử, mới bảo mọi người:" quí vị cứ lo mấy viên đá nhỏ mà không lo ba viên đá to". Xong ông từ từ để ba viên đá to vào trước rồi từ từ xấp xếp mấy viên nhỏ vào sau, thế mà nó lại vừa gọn lỏn vào cái bình thủy tinh. NGV học được cái chân lý là nếu mình cứ tỉ mỉ nhỏ mọn từng chút, lo mấy chuyện nhỏ nhoi thì sẽ không làm thành đại sự.

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2. MAKE PEACE WITH IMPERFECTION.

I’ve yet to meet an absolute perfectionist whose life was filled with inner peace. The need for perfection and the desire for inner tranquility conflict with each other. Whenever we are attached to having something in a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle. Rather than being content and grateful for what we have, we are focused on what’s wrong with something and our need to fix it. When we are zeroed in on what’s wrong, it implied that we are dissatisfied, discontent.

Whether it’s related to ourselves-a disorganized closet, a scratch on the car, an imperfect accomplishment, a few pounds we would like to lose-or someone else’s “imperfections”-the way someone looks, behaves, or lives their life-the very act of focusing on imperfection pulls us away from our goal of being kind and gentle. This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your very best but with being overly attached and focused on what’s wrong with life. It’s about realizing that while there’s always a better way to do something, this doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy and appreciate the way things already are.

The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are. Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now. In absence of your judgment, everything would be fine. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you’ll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.

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3. LET GO OF THE IDEA THAT GENTLE, RELAXED PEOPLE CAN’T BE SUPERACHIEVERS

One of the major reasons so many of us remain hurried, frightened, and competitive, and continue to live life as if it were one giant emergency, is our fear that if we were to become more peaceful and loving, we would suddenly stop achieving our goals. We would become lazy and apathetic.

You can put this fear to rest by realizing that the opposite is actually true. Fearful, frantic thinking takes an enormous amount of energy and drains the creativity and motivation from our lives. When you are fearful or frantic, you literally immobilize yourself from your greatest potential, not to mention enjoyment. Any success that you do have is despite your fear, not because of it.

I have had a good fortune to surround myself with some very relaxed, peaceful, and loving people. Some of these people are best-selling authors, loving parents, counselors, computer experts, and chief executive officers. All of them are fulfilled in what they do and are very proficient at their giving skills.

I have to learned the important lesson: When you have what you want (inner peace), you are less distracted by your wants, needs, desires, and concerns. It’s thus easier to concentrate, focus, achieve your goals, and to give back to others.

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4. BE AWARE OF THE SNOWBALL EFFECT OF YOUR THINKING

A powerful technique for becoming more peaceful is to be aware of how quickly your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control. Have you ever noticed how uptight you feel when you’re caught up in your thinking? And, to top it off, the more absorbed you get in the details of whatever is upsetting you, the worse you feel. One thought leads to another, and yet another, until at some point, you become incredibly agitated.

For example, you might wake upon the middle of the night and remember a phone call that needs to be made the following day. Then, rather than feeling relieved that you remembered such an important call, you start thinking about everything else you have to do tomorrow. You start rehearsing a probable conversation with your boss, getting yourself even more upset. Pretty soon you think to yourself, “I can’t believe how busy I am. I must make fifty phone calls a day. Whose life is this anyway?” and on and on it goes until you’re feeling sorry for yourself. For many people, there’s no limit to how this type of “thought attack” can go on. In fact, I've been told by clients that many of their days and nights are spent in this type of mental rehearsa. Needless to say, it's important to feel peaceful with your head full of concerns and annoyances.

The solution is to notice what's happening in your head before your thoughts have chance to build any momentum. The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball, the easier it is to stop. In our exemple here, you might notice your snowball thinking right when you start running through the list of what you have to do the next day. Then, instead of obsessing on your up coming day, you say to yourself, "Whew, there I go again," and consciuosly nip it in the bud. You stop your train of thought before it has a chance to get going. You can then focus, not on how overwhelmed you are, but on how grateful you are on the remembering the phone call call that need to be made. If it's the middle of the night, write it down on a piece of papper and go back to sleep. You might even consider a pen and a papper by the bed such moments.

You may indeed be very busy person, but remember that filling your head with thoughts of how overwhelmed you are only exacerbates the problem by making you feel even more stressed than you already do. Try this simple little exercise the next time you begin to obsess on your schedule. You'll be amazed at how effective it can be.

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5. DEVELOPE YOUR COMPASSION

Nothing helps us build our perspective more than developing compassion for others. Compassion is a sympathetic feeling. It involves the willingness to put yourself in someone elsés shoes, to take the focus off yourself and to imagine what it's like to be in someone else's predicament. , and simultaneously, to feel love for that person. It's the recognition that other people's problems, their pain and frustrations, are every bits as real as our own--often far worse. In recognizing this fact and trying to offer some assistance, we open our own hearts and greatly enhance our sense of gratitude.

Comparision is something you can develope with practice. It involves two things: intention and action. Intention simply means you remember to open your heart to others; you expand what and who matters, from yourself to other people. Action is simply the "what you do about it." You might donate a little money or time (or both) on a regular basis to a cause near to your heart. Or perhaps you'll offer a beautiful smile and genuine "hello" to the people you meet on the street. It's not so important what you do, just that you do something. As Mother Theresa remind us , "We cannot do great things on this earth. We can only do small things with great love."

Comparision develops your sense of gratitude by taking your attention off all the little things that most of us have learned to takt too seriously. When you take the time, often, to reflect on the miracle of life--the miracle that you are even able to read this book--the gift of sight, of love, and all the rest, it can help to remind you that many of the things that you think of as :big stuff" are really just "small stuff" that you are tuning into big stuff.

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